Sleep and 24 Hour Supermarkets
by Nobody Apologist
Summary: In all fairness, waking up in a moving shopping cart wasn't the weirdest thing he'd ever experienced, but it was still concerning. (Can be read as romantic poly Avengers or platonic)


**AN: So this is possibly an AU or set in canon. Everything's kind of ambiguous.**

* * *

In all fairness, waking up in a moving shopping cart wasn't the weirdest thing he'd ever experienced, but it was still concerning.

After blinking rapidly far more times than he would ever wish to count, Bruce brought one of his hands up to create a barrier between his poor eyes and the fluorescent lights. From his rather limited viewpoint, he managed to make out Natasha walking alongside the cart, and what was probably Clint trying to balance on the front of it. The last thing Bruce could remember was the beginning of the fifth movie in Tony's Movie Marathon Extravaganza™, and by that point there'd been no discussions about grocery shopping.

"Why are we here?" Bruce managed to croak.

"We ran out of junk food," Steve explained from behind him, most likely pushing the cart. "And apparently we just couldn't go on without it."

"Hey!" Tony's voice came from somewhere up ahead, just beyond Clint. "Junk food was pretty much created for the sole purpose of being eaten during movie marathons."

"Doesn't stop you from eating it daily," Natasha replied.

Clint made an "ooh" sound and nearly fell off the cart.

"You know, Pepper thinks I'm exaggerating about the lack of respect you all have for me, and someday she will realize how wrong she is."

"We only tease you because we love you," Steve told him. "And because you really do eat a lot more junk than you should."

"I don't hear any of you saying that to Thor when he consumes thirty goddamn Pop-Tarts each morning."

"Speaking of Thor, where is he?" Bruce asked.

"He ran ahead to the snack aisle," Clint answered, "even though Natasha's the one with the list."

"And why are you on the cart?"

"He wanted to be in the cart," Natasha began to explain.

"So did I," Tony interrupted.

"But Steve insisted that you should be the one in the cart considering that you were still unconscious by the time we got here," Natasha continued. "So Clint decided to practice his balance, and nearly knocked Tony into a fruit display a few seconds before you woke up."

"I'm now more bruised than the fruit, and we nearly got kicked out within the first two minutes of being here," Tony added.

"So I didn't miss anything unusual then." Bruce clutched onto the edges of the cart as they turned a corner, and silently cursed Clint for barely moving a muscle. "How long was I out anyway?"

"An hour, maybe? You were asleep by the time the opening credits were over at least," Clint told him.

"Ah, you're awake!" Thor exclaimed. Bruce pitied the employees who were used to quiet night shifts. "Here."

Three different flavours of chips were dumped onto Bruce, and he wasn't awake enough to know what to do with them. He saw Natasha cross off three items on her list with the pen that she always mysteriously managed to keep on her person. Tony had made many attempts to find out where she kept it exactly, but the answer always managed to elude him. His latest theory was that she had hidden pockets, and it was probably the most sound theory he'd had in a long time.

"Are we really going to eat this much in the next few hours?" Bruce asked as Thor and Tony loaded more food onto him while Natasha continued to mark up the list.

"You must still be half asleep if you're honestly asking that," Clint replied.

"Should we stock up on breakfast food while we're here?" Natasha asked.

The cart shifted forward. "Might as well," Steve replied.

"We should probably keep Tony away from the fruit then," Clint suggested.

"Barton, you motherfucker, I'll-"

"What time is it?" Bruce yawned.

"Two forty seven in the morning," said Steve.

"And we're not stopping any time soon," Tony added, passing a pack of energy drinks to Bruce.

Once Tony's back was turned, Bruce handed the energy drinks to Steve, who put them back on the shelf.

"After Tony noticed that you were asleep," Thor said as he tried to balance a box of waffles on Bruce's knees, "he decided a competition to stay awake the longest was in order."

Natasha placed a tub of yogurt by his feet. "So it'll come to a head between Tony and Steve either sometime tomorrow or early the next day where one of them will pass out and the other will quickly follow."

Bruce tried to look at Steve, but ended up staring at a shelf corner between him and Natasha. "I thought you didn't endorse Tony's bad sleeping habits."

"I figure indulging him this one time won't do too much harm, if any," Steve replied.

"What's the prize?" Bruce asked, turning his head to face forward again.

Clint shrugged while Tony said, "Probably one of those 'winner decides' ones, but with the extra limitations of the new rules."

Steve sighed. "Danger doesn't always equal fun."

"But it does sometimes?"

"Besides," Steve continued, "the fact that we had to make avoiding fire a rule is a bit concerning."

Tony shrugged. "I live on the edge."

"Be grateful you were the first one out," Clint told Bruce before giving him a box of strawberries to hold on to.

"I would argue that I wasn't aware of this competition before I fell asleep and therefore still eligible now that I'm awake, but I don't like causing unnecessary pain for myself, so I will gladly take the title of 'first one out' and sleep as much as I can."

"The three am sass is making an appearance," Clint proclaimed.

"Truly, the best form of sass," Thor replied.

"Are you boys ready to go, or are we going to take over the supermarket for the rest of the night?" Natasha asked, marked up list in hand and pen nowhere in sight.

Tony groaned. "Why are the cash registers all the way across the store?"

"You should buy the place and remodel it," Clint told him.

"The sooner you start walking, the sooner you'll get there," Steve said, turning the cart and beginning the overly exaggerated journey to the check out.

Tony came back into view a few moments later being carried on Thor's back. He smiled smugly at either Steve or the employee who was cleaning up the shelves. Possibly both.

"Wow, Stark," Natasha said as she poked Clint in the side, trying to get him to fall off the cart. "Your plan is to exhaust the rest of us physically so you have a clear victory?"

Tony shrugged. "I play to win."

They managed to pay for their food with only a few strange looks following their movements. Most of those looks were directed at Tony who refused to get off of Thor and paid from where he was. He also didn't seem surprised by the fact that the energy drinks had disappeared, but it was entirely possible that he'd forgotten about them already. Bruce and Clint didn't get as many questioning looks, so Bruce supposed that this wasn't the first time this poor staff had seen a fully grown adult in a cart while another adult tried to balance on it as well. Although they did seem rather impressed by the fact that Clint hadn't fallen off.

After burying Bruce in plastic bags, they all made their way out of the store. The soccer mom van was the only vehicle on the parking lot, but it was nearly impossible to see in the dark, the light from the store barely gracing the asphalt next to it. Natasha made her way to the driver's seat and clicked the button on the keys to open the trunk on her way. Thor moved to put Tony in the very back, and Clint followed closely behind. Steve pushed the trunk lid up, and Bruce passed the bags to him, three at a time. Steve then pushed the cart to the still open van door, and helped Bruce climb out of it and into the van. Steve disappeared for a moment, presumably to put the cart away, while Natasha told Thor, who'd made his way to the front seat, which radio station to go to.

Steve soon got in the van himself, and sat next to Bruce. He looked over the seat to make sure that Clint and Tony had their seatbelts on before putting on his own, and then told Natasha to drive. The familiar sounds and the darkness around him - which was greatly enhanced by the shaded windows - quickly began to lull Bruce back to sleep. Tony and Clint's chattering soon grew much quieter, and it wasn't long before Bruce was unconscious again.

He woke up a few more times before fully waking hours later. He woke to Natasha gently patting his hair, to Thor unintentionally jostling him by practically falling onto the couch, and to pieces of popcorn being thrown at him by Tony - who claimed that they were supposed to hit Clint - among other things. Bruce figured that in the morning - and by that he meant a reasonable hour - he'd be struck, as he usually was, by how content he was. But as the opening theme of yet another movie played and Steve asked when he should start making breakfast, Bruce decided that thinking could easily be saved for later, and that simply enjoying himself was the current top priority.


End file.
